Are you a leader or a follower? How do you know?

Joanne's favorite answer:
In response to the QOTD, I've always thought I was a leader... I'm bossy, I like having people do my bidding, I chafe under authority... heck, I've been teaching karate since I was 15 and now I teach undergrads! But you know what? I think I make a better follower. I get paralyzed making decisions that require selecting from among more than 2 choices (don't ever ask me what I want to eat for dinner!) and as long as the person telling me what to do is competent, I'm great at getting tasks done for them. So what does that make me? A mid-level executive, I guess. A lieutenant. Not the commander-in-chief, but not a grunt worker. Just don't tell [my ex-girlfriend], or she'll try to start running me again.

Joanne's answer:
Like a lot of other people have been saying, I think it depends on the situation. I like leading in the respect that it means I am going to be getting lots of extra attention, but I do somewhat dislike the added responsiblity that being the leader entails. In a lot of social situations, I definitely prefer for someone else to lead - to decide where to go, what to do, etc. - mostly because I tend to be a little low on openness (adventurousness) when left to my own devices, but get much more open when someone else is leading me towards adventurous activites (like camping in the desert!). At school/work, I tend to take the leader role a bit more often...I don't necessarily like being the leader in the sense that I am the BOSS of someone, but I do really LOVE teaching, which I do think would fall into a "leader" category. So ya, it depends.

And the other answers!

1. I'm a leader... the "Senior Patrol Leader" patch on the sleeve of my old boy scout uniform told me so... I don't remember patrolling old people so I think I was supposed to be in charge of our troop... I think...

2. I am most definitely a leader. How do I know? Why just refer to my answer yesterday - I can't stand it when anyone is in front of me. The truth is I know because when I see somethomg ( a new project perhaps) everyone seems to back off and see what I ideas and plan of attack I come up with. I would like to take total credit for this but it goes back to the way I was raised and my military training (being a woman in a man's world you learn fast))

3. As far as being a leader or a follower - I'm more of a leader than a follower because I tend to have strong views on most things that I deal with in life. But, part of being a good leader is not trying to be in charge ALL the time. You can't dictate everything to people, but you can help direct them.

4. Well I'm not following anyone, so if I had to pick, I guess I'd say I'm a leader.

5. I'm neither. Never have been. I have been "doin' my own thing" since long before it was fashionable. Yup - I'm that old. I do what I like, and go where I like and someone else wants to come along, that's okay. If they don't, I'm goin' anyway 'cause it's MY thing.

6. I'm both a leader and a follower,depends on the situation. a leader at work,i dont trust people too much,so i usually like to be in charge.in social situations i'm both,.i follow people along if the ideais theirs,but i ususally stand out because i'm loud.hahhaha!

7. As a personality psychologist, it pains me to say that I am very situation specific when it comes to leading vs. following. I have no consistency here. In a situation where no one else is stepping up orwhen I have a strong opinioin about whats going on, then I will try to lead. But when someone else is fighting for leadership and I have no opinion about whats going on, then I will usually follow. I have no internal desire to be one or the other, it just depends on the situation.

8. I've been thinking about this lately. I am not necessarily a leader all the time but sometimes I am and I am a pretty good follower but for the most part I think I am a leader without followers! HA HA!

9. I'm a follower if there's already a designated leader. But if no one is leading, I tend to step up and take the role. I know because I hear myself telling people what to do and they do it without questioning my authority. I don't really like leading because it's hard work -you have to be responsible and stuff. But I'd rather take the job then be part of unproductive chaos. My time is too valuable for that.

10. I do not believe that I am consistently one or the other. Each situation is different. Therefore, my decision to either lead or follow is determined with each separate situation.

What's something that people do in traffic that really bothers you?

Joanne's favorite answer:
The fact that anyone feels the need to be on the road besides me bothers me!

Joanne's answer:
As long as I'm able to talk on the phone while stuck in traffic (yes, I'm one of those!!), I don't tend to get bothered by very much of anything - except (like a lot of the answers I got), I do really hate when someone is following me to closely - first, because I feel like I already drive pretty damn fast so I am just shocked that someone is wanting me to drive faster, and second, because of course I'm afraid they are gonna rear-end me!

And the other answers!

1. Talk on their dumb cell phones and go through "STOP" signs on back streets.

2. I believe the word would be tailgating. Traffic is barely moving and the person behind me is almost in my trunk!!! Then traffic picks up and the person is still attached to my trunk. I'm afraid that when the traffic slows down again too quickly, that this person will become part of my back seat. People following too close, yup, that's what bothers me in traffic.

3. Stop...really creates a lot of traffic.

4. Traffic...I HATE: 1, Weavers; 2, People who are being nice but at the same time should not! Do u know what I mean? They could cause an accident because they might be letting you first or stopping when they shouldn't to let you go etc; 3, People who rush to be first but could cause an accident; 4, Those who drive 40 mph on the highway!!!!; 5, Elders who think they are doing right when they are not!!!; 6, and...youngsters who see a cat in the road and try to kill it!!! (This happened to MY cat!!!!); etc!!!!

5. Not get out of the way when they don't want to go as fast as I do.

6. I'm a huge believer in using your blinker,so i hate it when others just cut in front of you without the advanced notice of the turn signal.

7. Tailgating is the most aggravating thing to me. When someone is tailgating me, I then continue to look in the rear view mirror. In essence, this is causing me to not pay attention to what I am doing because I am worried about them riding up my *ss.

8. Here are my top six: 6.) Not knowing who has the right of way - if you have the right of way, just go, and for heaven's sake don't wave me on to go in front of you as if you are doing me a favor! if you do not have the right of way - stop, or yeild as needed 5.) Changing lanes without signaling. 4.) Following too closely 3.) Weaving in and out of lanes to drive as fast as possible in a traffic situation where no matter what they do they will not be able to go the least bit faster. (Note: I feel extreme, unhealthy satisfaction when the natural flow of traffic allows me to pass these people.) 2.) Blocking intersections by failing to yield at a green or yellow light when it is perfectly clear that traffic on the other side of the light isn't moving and there is no where for your vehicle to go except right in the middle of the damn intersection. 1.) NOT LOOKING!

9. Three things: 1) When people go the actual speed limit in the fast lane. 2) When people ride the shoulders or exit lanes and cut in at the last possible moment. 3) When I see people weave in and out of traffic, which makes traffic back up even more, only to end up seeing that same car in the same place as you five minute later. So, basically, they made traffic worse, increased their own blood pressure, and didn't even get any farther. It is frustrating me just talking about it....

10. I have to say I get annoyed driving with [my husband] in traffic because he swerves towards people, cuts people off and is generally scary when his road rage sets in. I get so embarrassed that I want to crouch in my seat. Also, when I was the younger and prettier version of myself I found men licking their lips at me annoying...because in traffic you have nowhere to go...although that is how I met that guy I dated for a couple months....HA!! And pretty much how we met [my husband] isn't it????

11. Taxes

Have you ever been overwhelmed with compassion or overcome with pity? How were you transformed by the experience?

Joanne's favorite (most timely) answer:
I am overwhelmed with compassion every time I see the smoke coming from the towers in NYC on 9-11. Over the last 5 years it has effected me. No wonder so many can't recover from their loss, the t.v. keeps showing those towers. Enough already!! Let the people heal!! I don't know that I have been "transformed" by my compassion for this event but I do change the channel on the t.v. if I even suspect that it will be a 9-11 story that will involve showing those towers.

Joanne's answer:
In Spring of 2005, when I was teaching at the University of Redlands, I had one male student in my class (the only male in the whole class!). He was a pretty shy, quiet kid, but very sweet and just adorable - a really good kid. He missed class for about a week and a half and then came to talk to me after class to explain why - turns out that his father had unexpectedly committed suicide. The dad had been suffering from depression but they thought he was doing okay - and this student was so competely beside himself as he was talking to me, he was so devistated and sad and he couldn't hold back the tears. I felt so very sad for him, I couldn't shake it even hours after we talked. I don't think I was really *transformed* by the experience in any way, however...

And the other answers!

1. Those are two emotions that i wasnt programmed with.makes me a fair and partial nurse...nah,i'm very compassionate,but nothing is standing out at this moment at a "transforming" level.

2. Oh, my gosh, yes. I have the gift/curse of being an extremely empathetic person and suffering of any kind really affects me. It's been this way since I was little, so I can't really say that I have had a single transformative experience in this area.

How would you like to die - quickly without warning or slowly over time?

Joanne's favorite answer:
JoJo...you gone crazy in the head...oh yes sign me up for the "dying slowing over time...can I have the especially painful slow death while we are at it?"...ummm...I will take the fast without warning death please.

Joanne's answer:
I'm gonna have to go with my favorite answer on this one - quickly without warning for me, please! I always tell people how much they mean to me and I already do my best to "carpe diem" and all that crap - I don't think I need an impending slow death to motivate me (although the threat of getting hit by a bus can sometimes motivate a person...)

And the other answers!

1. I would rather skip the whole thing , thank you very much.Yup, no death needed here, thank you.

2. doesn't really matter as long as my friends and family know i love them,and that they were my reason for living.

3. Well I wouldn't like to DIE!!! However, I do know what you are asking..I would rather not be a burden to any of my loved ones so I would rather die very very quickly

4. Quickly without notice for sure. There are WAY too many things concerning the after-death preparations that I really wouldn't care to deal with. If I go quickly I won't have to.

5. Oh, Lord, make it quick! I don't want to have that time to dwell on what I haven't done in my life yet or crying the whole time knowing I'll never get to do this or that or see so and so again...And you know how us Tauruses cry! ;)

6. definitely quickly; in some freak accident that i was not expecting and had almost no time to experience the fear, anxiousness or regret commonly associated with knowing that it's all coming to an end. Also,i'd like it to be over fast, to minimize the pain experienced. Hmmm...maybe something like getting hit by a bus...

7. If I can choose, I would choose quickly without warning, but those quick deaths are usually very painful (e.g., accidents). Can I pick one without pain?? By the way we are all dying slowly over time. Yesterday, my left knee died. Tomorrow, my right knee will. And then I need to run 11 miles this weekend for the half-marathon training, and I die a little afterwards.

8. I think I'll pass on dying thank you.

9. It depends on how and how much pain is involved - and how old I am. Assuming that I'm at an age where I am comfortable with the idea of moving on, I would like the time to get my affairs in order and say goodbye to everyone properly. However, if that meant horrible physical pain and/or unbearable depression for an extended period of time, then I'd rather just go down in a flash not knowing what was coming or what hit me. I remember [my step-mother] saying, after she got hit in the back of the head with the boom from the sailboat that it wouldn't be a bad way to die. She had no idea what happened and she didn't feel a thing - just blacked out. All other things being equal, I vote for slipping painlessly away in my sleep at a ripe old age.

Beauty

SF joanne 3
Originally uploaded by DrBrian.

Here's a good example of that beauty thing we were talking about last question....

What is beauty?

Joanne's favorite answer:
Beauty is me. Enough said. Good luck with the chorus, i know you'll do great, you have a beautiful voice!! I was telling [my boyfriend] how you sang at [our friend's] wedding and how it was so amazing that I cried. Seriously. Ok wait, I change my answer, seeing as how it was bullshit. I say that your voice is beauty!!!!

Joanne's answer:
Beauty is anything that causes you to stop what you are doing and to just admire for a moment. Anything that inspires you. Anything that brings you joy.

And the other answers!

1. Beauty is that which moves you, inspires you, attracts you, makes you believe in a higher power, makes you believe in love. Really, beauty is not so much what a thing is as what it does.

2. To me Everything. I agree with the old saying Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

3. Beauty is something that when in it's presents it is an emotional message for your eyes, it will warm your soul and soothe your entire being. Beauty lifts your spirit and lighten your day. Beauty is one of God's gifts to us. So take time every day to just stand still and look at the beauty.

4. I like this question. Beauty to me is an intangible thing. Its when we can feel and sense something perfect happening to us in any given moment. To me the perfect definition of beauty is looking into the eyes of someone you love wholey and completely. So cheesy but I had to write it.

5. Pamela Anderson's Boobs.

6. No question ...its what wonderful anything comes out of a person. Or maybe what pretty thing you see.

7. Geez, thats tough. There are deinfitely two kinds of beauty... the kind from within and from the outside. The outside kind is obvious...everyone knows it when they see it. But the within kind can completely over-shadow the outside kind. It can make a physically beautiful person seem ugly or a physically ugly person seem beautiful.Its hard to describe inner beauty though. Its someone who listens and cares when you talk. Its somene who you feel happy and confident around. Its someone who is happy with themself and is engaged in life.Someone who takes pride in what they do and sees meaning in what theydo.A person with these qualities, no matter how they look, will be beautiful, to me.

8. Beauty is what radiates from someone or something from within. A beautiful soul.

9. Beauty is a lie, everything is beautiful in some way

10. A naked redhead holding a steak and cheese sub.

If you could go anywhere for a one-day visit, where would you visit? Why?

Joanne's favorite answer:
Do you even have to ask?! Clearly, I would go to Sausalito :-)

Joanne's answer:
I'd have to say that I would fly somewhere I have never been before. It would have to be somewhere not too far away because I wouldn't want to be tired from too much traveling, maybe Seattle, I have always wanted to check that place out. Of course I would bring as many friends as I could round up and we would have a fancy dinner and I guess I'd have to research more about Seattle to figure out what we'd do next but I assure you, we would have fun.

And the other answers!

1. The other side.

2. I would want to go to another planet, prefferably with a human friendly atmosphere and some super advance aliens. Who are smoking hot. And they are all female. And the trees are made of delicious bacon and ham.So I guees I would want a sort of Star Trek meets Bangkok meets Emeril.

3. Burma...[says in contemplative voice] "[Name], why Burma?"...why?...why indeed...

4. I would visit GOD to see if he really existed. Then I would know if I could screw off and do anything I want with no repercussions or have to be a good little boy.

5. If the expense was taken care of, I would want to take my children and my husband to Tachikawa, Japan so they could see where I spent 2 years of my life in my very early 20's. It's a place you must see to appreciate.

6. Barcelona... to see a Barca vs. Real Madrid game atNou Camp... I've been to the city before so I'd be okay with just 1-day there.

7. I'd visit my family &friends in Mass,and drive up toPortland,Maine. any chance i could get i'd take it to see them.i'm quite homesick.

8. well, that's hard, because 1 day trips are easy to do, and thus i do them....and i don't want to say something silly like new zealand or mars, both sadly beyond our and my day trip abilities.so how about..."Pt. Reyes, my favorite Bay Area spot, even though it doesn't allow dogs on its hiking trails."

9. This is a very good question. I would go back to the Philippines in a heartbeat, even just for one day. I haven't been back there since i was 11. I didn't get to see my grandmother who raised me before her death, so i would like to visit her grave. Then i would see all my cousins and relatives who are all 16 years older now than when i last saw them. Then i'm going to the old province where i would go during summer vacations, try to remember the smells, sounds and sights, and i'm going to eat lots and lots of mangos, pineapples, and coconuts. I would go to the street markets where my grandma and I used to shop with all the shady people and the street food. Then i'd gather all of my relatives and have an evening of drinking filipino beer (San Miguel) while listening to banjo playing and people singing folk songs. Then i think i would cry myself to sleep because I know that the next day i would be back to America, without all of the things that I have missed all these years.

10. If I can take my wife: Ta'haa Private Island Resort in Tahiti. If I can't take my wife: The Playboy Mansion!

11. Where would I go for a one day visit anywhere? No trouble with that one my dear! If you really mean anywheres I would go to Heaven. Why? Can you guess?/???? I would just love to see my deceased loved ones for sure! If there is such a place! Seeing my mother (happy) and seeing my sister and grandparents etc would be the best visit I could have!!! Even if it meant for only one day...............you see then I would know what to also expect and know that I WOULD see them eventually!

12. ONE DAY ONLY? I would like to see Alaska........but for more than one day.

Was there ever a time when it turns out you were right, in spite of many others who thought otherwise? Explain the situation.

Joanne's favorite answer:
When I was growing up my parents and my teachers thought I was a shit head. As it turned out they were wrong. There is nothing in there at all.

Joanne's answer:
Well, there was that time that Tim Burwell wrote me a poem and I *knew* that it meant that he really liked me, even though everyone else insisted that he just wanted to be friends. Then there was that time that I chased after Mica Stanfield for over a year, just *knowing* we would be together eventually, even though all my friends were convinced that he would never actually agree to be my boyfriend. Oh wait, I think I'm supposed to be talking about times when I was *right* and everyone else was *wrong*?! Ya, there aren't too many of those! Actually, one time that I do have is when I was working on my dissertation, everyone said it was totally unrealistic for me to write the whole thing in under 6 weeks -- but write it I did, and even got it published in Psych Bulletin!! That definitely makes up for all the Tim Burwells and Mica Stanfields that are thrown my way! =)

And the other answers!

1. I'm never right. i accept it and move on. or, in the slim case i am right, no one else admits it.

2. Yup happens all the time. Not that you can get anyone else to admit it.

3. It certainly happened more times than I can count. I was after all a woman in a man's world for the 21 years I was in the military (not to mention my spouse and the times I was right - but did I ever get proper acknowledgement? Don't think so.

4. Everyone I knew, including my children, thought I was losing my mind when I chose to marry a man 15 years younger than I, that I had only known for 4 months. This November we will celebrate our 21st anniversary. I guess I was right to say "yes" when he asked me to marry him.

5. Every...single...day.

6. No comment.

7. Every waking moment of every day.