When have you had to agree to disagree? Explain.

Joanne's FAVORITE answer:
Many, many times when discussing politics with Joanne. I try to get her to see the errors of her ways when she defends the Republicans, but to no avail. I have tried to get her to see how Bush has put us in one hot spot after another, but she will not listen. Joanne even gets violent sometimes because her arguments are so weak that lashing out is her only defense once you prove her wrong on a subject. It has gotten to the point that I have had to join the witness protection program, relocate to Greenland(um....scratch that, I'm in France, yeah...France), and learn to herd seals(uh, I mean milk goats, yeah...I'm a goat milker...in France). So, now we just agree to disagree and I don't have to worry about her trying to run me over with her car anymore. Sorry, these flashbacks just come out of nowhere sometimes. Post traumatic stress disorder is what they call it, I think. Isn't that right Joanne?

Joanne's answer:
Almost anytime that I explain my voting practices to people. You see, in my quest for gender equality in politics, I have decided to, whenever possible, vote for the woman candidate. Regardless of whether she is a democrat or republican. And regardless of her position on issues. This policy seems to enrage most people, as they unendingly try to argue points such as, "But what if you disagree with this particular woman's views?" or "What is this particular woman will do more harm than good?". While I appreciate such concerns, my most important political agenda at this time is gender equality, and I think the most effective way to get that is to have more women in politics - not because of their views or what they might do in terms of policy change while in office, but because the simple fact that they are in office is having a profound effect on our society. The fact that they are elected into office makes it more likely that the idea of a woman in positions of power/non-traditional roles will be accepted by society at large, hence breaking down the barriers that women face. See...societal change through action/example, not through policy. Anyway, I didn't expect you to understand. No one else does. So, let's just agree to disagree!

And the rest of the answers!

My husband and I agree to disagree about whether ornot we should keep a gun in the house. We currentlylive in university housing where guns are prohibited,so the argument can remain at a standstill until wegraduate. When we finally get our own place, however,we will have to revisit the discussion and come to aconclusion...

I am a democrat married to a republican - there have been many times that I have had to agree to disagree :-)

When???? Most of the time when it comes to livingwith my husband. He does what he wants and I do whatI want but that doesn't mean we agree on what is done.We decided long ago to agree to disagree. He hatesmost of what I like and I dislike most of what helikes. It's just become a way of life. "Serenity forthe things I can not change........."

My father and I used to agree to disagree on politicsall the time... he a midwest born Republican, and me ahippie liberal Californian, would CONSTANTLY disagreeon how government should operate and how we shouldspend money. I, being young, would typically getemotionally involved in the arguments while he wouldalways stay calm. Every single conversation alwaysended with the idea that once a democrat took officethen all the republican agenda would be reversed and adem agenda would replace it. The last time I arguedwith him about politics, it was about the war in Iraq.He knew he was going to disagree with me so he wentstraight for the "vote in a democrat and things willchange, and all politics are cyclical" but I thoughtthat wasn't enough this time because people were dyingright then, and waiting for a change in leadershipwould mean thousands more would die before thathappened (and they have). I wasn't going to agree todisagree as we had done dozens of times before. Ispent a great deal of energy trying to show him whythe war was wrong and why the republicans have it allwrong (unless you personally are a profiteer makingmillions/billions off of the war). He died before wecould formally resolve this discussion, and Isometimes regret that this was the last majordiscussion I had with my father.

I'm married - that means everyday.

Every day. I am married to a man.

Well, basically anytime I'm right (which, let's face it, is ALWAYS!) and I fail in my attempt to persuade the other party to see it my way!

Why do you think divorce is so prevalent?

Joanne's FAVORITE answer:
Divorce is prevalent because women have rights. In the olden days,women had to suffer through their husband's infidelity. And women whocheated were beaten by their husbands (or killed). As you know theterm "rule of thumb" was coined in regards to the thickness of thestick you were legally allowed to beat your wife with. Now, women mayleave. And men may not legally beat them. So instead we see divorce.

Joanne's answer:
Probably one of the biggest reasons is that the gender roles (especially for women) have changed quite a bit - women can now have opinions, women can now have jobs...and women can now support themselves without the help of a man! Also, for the most part, because traditions of society have loosened a bit, both women and men now have more CHOICES in their life - if they are in a bad marriage, they are allowed to leave. They don't have to stay in a situation that makes them unhappy. While I certainly think some people give up on marriages too easily, I would venture to say that most people who get divorced are better off. Unhappy marriages are way worse for your psychological health than being single. And they are a lot less fun, too!

And the other answers!

I don't know why people get divorced, but I think I know one thing. Research has shown that the older you are when you first get married, the less likely you will get divorced. Well, let me tell you something. The older you get, the lower the chance becomes that you'll get married in the first place. So, of course, those older folks who successfully got married at an old age are less likely to get divorced, because of the "self-selection" effect!! --31-year-old female, obviously not married

I sincerely believe that divorce is so prevalent because the two people going into the marriage don't really look at it as a life time commitment. It's all fun and romantic and the bride gets to be center stage for a day and treated like a princess for the duration of the honeymoon. Then real life begins to set in. Living with someone else day in and day out is work. You have to consider the other person's feelings, needs and wants every day. If you don't there is hell to pay. And if you don't consider the other person's feelings, needs and wants long enough, then one of you is going to stray or move out. People today don't want to work at making the union work. And, don't be deceived, marriage is work. Just like keep your home clean and your property in order, it's work but when you sit down at the end of the day it's a nice feeling to know the home, this property, this mate in life, is yours to have and to hold. Maybe too, it's too easy to get married. If it took more paperwork to get married maybe more people would think about it longer before making that big step.

Psychologists.

Because registering for a wedding is awesome! When else do you get to request tons of things from your friends and family members? Who wants to be only able to do that once?

I think divorce is so prevalant because it is allowed and not looked down upon like it was earlier in the century (the last century -- ha ha!). Also, I believe people just have a more conventional way of thinking nowadays and are going after what makes THEM happy and to hell with whoever stands in their way. If they aren't satisfied in their marriage they see no problem with ending it instead of trying to fix what is wrong and compromising. I realize that may not always be an option, but people seem to give up more easily today if something is not going their way. Also, what you said yesterday about that guy who got divorced from his barren wife and then she couldn't deal with his cancer. Well, the vows say "in sickness and in health," do they not? Or did they leave that clause out? Our culture is prevalant in teaching people that they have a sense of entitlement. People are just selfish. I think that is what it boils down to.

Being the child of divorced parents, I think I have a little insight into this one. This isn't why my parents divorced, but I think the reason today is mainly that people don't take that "for worse" part seriously enough. Sure I'll take you for better, but if you do something that I don't like, then I'm out of here. Make sure you know how far your "significant other" is willing to go on the "worse" part. Now, I'm not married, so I can't say that I know the real angle of marriage, but you can bet if I am going to spend the time and energy to get to know someone, date them and marry them, then I am going to stick it out, unless it can't be fixed ever (i.e. infidelity, she attempts to kill me, she has someone else attempt to kill me, etc., etc., etc., etc.). I just believe that there are going to be some really rough times, and you have to expect that and do your best to deal with it.

[My husband] and I talk about this a lot and here are some of our ideas:
- People get married when they are too young to know who they are, what they want in life, and what type of person is best for him/her.
- People forget that a good marraige requires work (like everything worthwhile in life) and they get lazy and stop trying to be a good partner.
- People give up too quickly because divorce is more socially acceptable nowadays.
- A really, really unfortunate number of marraiges seem to end because of infidelity -- which is totally controllable on the part of the cheater. This gets into the selfish factor -- some people who get married aren't really in it to take care of the other person or don't take that part of the marraige seriously -- another reason why divorce is prevalent.
- Couples forget that they should keep going on dates and do courting type stuff to remind themselves of how they felt before they got married and to keep romance alive.
- Some people stop taking time out for themselves and loose themselves and blame it on the marraige.

Cause people don't have enough self-restraint to keep their pants on.

I think that there are a few reasons that divorce is so prevalent. For one thing, society does not support long-term, stable marriages. The media and society in general promotes - not just infidelity - but, the idea that if you're not experiencing a constant rush, constant gratification, then you are missing out on something that everyone else has the sense to make sure that they get. The other thing is that marriages these days can mean a lot of different things. If a husband and wife don't have the same idea of what marriage and their lives together are supposed be like, then it's not going to work. Also, I think more people are marrying for "love" (translate: passion) instead of finding a good friend that will make a good life partner. When the passion people fizzle out, there's not really anything left to hold them together. When well-suited life partners go through rough spots, their respect and genuine affection for eachother can see them through.

Because we have all learned from the O J mess, unless you have great lawyers, you can't kill them.

Because people are fucking stupid and marry the wrong people for the wrong reasons like because its the cool thing to do or becasue they want to look good in a white dress. Its fucking dumb. But I'm not bitter or anything...

Because women don't know how to listen.

What's your most memorable (good or bad) airplane flight?

Joanne's FAVORITE (non-fiction) answer:
OH MAN, you are going to be sorry you asked this one. Here is the scenario: flying with my brother as teenagers going from the West coast to the Midwest to visit our dad, we get to the part when they serve lunch (remember when they actually served a meal? Tells you how old I am) and he goes to put down his tray table, and there stuck to the middle of the tray table is a maxi pad....A USED MAXI PAD. Huge blood clots and funky drainage and all types of other stuff that a teen just doesn't want to think about. He and I looked at each other, looked at the pad, then he just slowly put the tray table back up. We didn't speak to each other for the rest of the trip....like it never happened. To this day, when I fly with him, I can still get a reaction out of him by asking if he thinks this flight will serve tomato soup and ketchup sandwiches (that's the code we use for it, so no one else gets offended....it really was that gross....HUGE CLOTS...you would have had to see them to believe them). We can only imagine how bad the flight was for that lady, to do that in public, in a closed space, that takes guts. Also, once I really thought about it, the cleaning crew really missed that one or they saw it and did like we did.....like it never happened. I'm hungry now....off to make some tomato soup.

Joanne's FAVORITE (fiction) answer:
When I was a kid I remember flying across the Atlantic a few times with my parents. Usually it was no big deal, but one trip went freakishly wrong. I was flying back to the states for Christmas with my little sister as a couple of unaccompanied minors. Apparently in the cargo hold there was a crate of live reptiles on the way to a zoo or something because a bunch of the snakes escaped. Most of them were poisonous and nobody on the plane even noticed them until they started creeping out from under seats or dropping down from the overhead compartments. It got really crazy, I remember the man next to us got bit first, right in the nads. Then, a stewardess had one dangling from her breasts. I swear, for some reason the snakes seemed to prefer biting genitals and boobs. I held onto my 12-year old weener with both hands, although this only required the movement of one additional hand. my little sister, having neither boobs nor external genitals, hystericaly ran about the cabin as passengers were dropping left and right from poisonous snake bites. It was insane. I think she peed her pants. Anyway, there we were: me clutching my junk for dear life and lil' betsy wetsy spazzing out. I don't remember much of what happenedfor the rest of the flight, but a very nice black man started killing all the snakes on the plane. Eventually he grabbed us and moved us to a safer part of the plane, basically saving our lives. Which at thetime was very bittersweet considering I hated black people. Oh and Christmas sucked that year.

Joanne's answer:
One of my worst flights was going from NYC to SoCal, on my way to interview for the job at UC Irvine (which I now work at!). Because my flight had been booked by a travel agent (who did not ask about my seat preferences), I ended up with a window seat instead of an isle seat. Now, while I certainly recognize that a window seat is better than the middle seat, I still really don't like it because it makes me feel really claustrophic. I like the knowledge that I can get up and stretch my legs whenever I want (without having to inconvenience 2 other people to do it). The flight was completely packed, and we were delayed on the runway for a quite a while, making the total time that we were on the plane a good 8 hours, easily. The batteries on my laptop were about dead, I didn't have a book to read, and for one reason or another, I did not watch the movie on the flight. I had been interviewing non-stop for about a week (an interview in Florida on Friday, an interview in upstate New York on Tuesday, and an interview in Manhattan on Wednesday) - and I had one more interview to go - and I was just SPENT. But of course, I couldn't sleep and I was horribly uncomfortable. The guys sitting to my right were middle-aged business men types - the one right next to me was a VP of some sort - and I tried chatting it up with them, but they weren't too interested. About halfway through the flight, I about couldn't go on, so I basically forced VP to talk to me - and he at least admitted to also being about ready to have a meltdown, he just wanted to be done with this plane ride. We were both unspeakably bored. So basically, the only thing I could think to do was to play my very favorite road-trip game, "The Celebrity Name Game". For those of you who don't know this game -- one person says the name of a celebrity (e.g., Jane Fonda) and then next person has to say the name of a celebrity whose first name begins with the first letter of the other celebrity's last name (e..g, Frank Sinatra). Now, I find this game to be highly entertaining, but it seems that I might be the only person in the world that thinks that way, as I can never get anyone to play with me! At any rate, this poor VP guy was so desperately bored and I was so desperately insistant that he play with me that I roped him right in! You could tell he was hating every second of it but come on, I was desperate here! As soon as he figured out which letter I was having trouble with, he went out of his way to keep throwing me that letter so the game could end...which, of course, it finally did. As did the plane ride. A good 4 hours later.

And the other answers!

Most memorable was when I was returning from Germany and the plane did an in-air refueling. Pilots were getting trained. Bad because of the smell and the back and forth action but good since it was successful. Don't think it would have been fun had they missed the hook-up.

Most memorable airplane trip... well its a toss up between sitting next to a guy with an open wound trying out his best pick up lines or sitting next to a pierced, tatted industrial rock/sex artist with a Ph.D for 11+ hours from LA to Bulgaria.

My first time on an airplane i was in the window seat and told the others they would have to watch out for me since it was my first time...in the middle was a pregnant girl with her cat!!! and the guy on the end was pretty cool..we took our bathroom breaks together (the 3 of us) and me and the guy got nice and drunk...it was a good first time.

Sorry I can't answer that one, I keep my two feet on the ground. Never been on a plane and don't intend to..

Well, I have tons of these as I was a flight attendant way back in the day…

But…I suppose if I had to pick one…. YAH RIGHT….

Holding a line out of NY’s LaGuardia doing West Palm turn arounds. Course at that time full course meals were being served on the plane and those that were of a different faith would order “special” meals to have on the plane with them. I, being the L3 Galley person was responsible for counting the meals in the cart to insure we had enough “meals” to supply the passengers… Catering came, unloaded, shut the doors and left. I counted the meals and realized we were ONE “special” meal short. Unfortunately, the plane had pulled away from the gate and getting one more “special” meal was not going to happen. Wouldn’t look quite right on my record to have a delay for a seafood salad plate. So… off we went. Now 30,000 feet in the air, it is time to pass out the meals. As I am feeding coach I get to the very back of the plane to one last lonely man sitting with his wife. As I go to pull out his meal, the man’s wife says to me, “Daaahling, my husband ordid a special meal, do you have it awn booward” I explain to him that we were short one meal and unfortunately I did not have his seafood salad plate. Well, he didn’t like this AT ALL. He stood up started yelling at me. As I turned to head to the cockpit to get the captain, he got out of his seat and started chasing me down the isle yelling… I ordid a special meal and I want it. Whew… what a flight. Then of course there was the time…
Working the L1011 – these are the planes with the little elevators in them… the galley is below the plane.. yah.. I don’t think they fly these anymore. Well… for those that didn’t know… there is a small opening in the cockpit that you can open and find yourself infront of the galley but under the cockpit.Ever heard of the “mile-high club”. Well it really does exist… My flight attendant friend was caught exiting that small opening under the cockpit and we all know what SHE was doing. HAHAHAHA. And now that I think about it…I was chartering a flight from NY to Miami – deadheading it from Miami to Scranton, PA to pick up a football team. The night we landed in Miami, the Captain told us to meet in the lobby at 5AM for a check in. Me and the flight service manager (Artie) decided to go out… well…. We didn’t quite make that 5am check in. The captain called my room and Artie answered. Hmmmm…. Captain then said to meet him at the hangar for check in and the bus was leaving in 5 min. Oh boy… talk about packing fast. Well since noone was going to be on the plane (passengers) the captain allowed me in the cockpit for take off and landing. WAY cool! Well… not with a hang over. J Artie asked if I wanted any tea for my take off… Sure I said. I sat behind the captain and waited now for the take off roll… Here we go says the captain… bump, bump bump… over the runway… since the tea looked like it was going to spill… I decided to take a sip… bad move… it was WAY too hot… I ended up spitting it out all over the back of the captains neck. Well once the plane was airborne… that captain sent me to the back of the plane to “take a nap”. Trying taking a sponge bath in the airplane bathroom. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww. Then lets to go when I was a passenger… My boss and I are heading from Boston to Portland, OR to see a customer… I am meeting my boss who is flying on a different flight – flight out goes pretty good… no problems…
BUT… the bad luck boss strikes and it is a catastrophic series of events for the flight back.
First… we are late getting to the plane. The “boss” drops me off because my flight is leaving before his and there is not time to return the rental… I rush in… rush to the counter. I am told that the counter I am at requires me to insert my credit card. Sorry… that is packed. I understood my drivers license was enough. Then, the luggage is scanned and found to have “explosives”. WHAT???? I ask. Explosives. I am sorry Miss… we have to take your luggage and you need to sign a paper. Ummm… hello… I plane is about to leave. Now standing in line waiting for my luggage, my boss walks by on the phone giving me the “strange” look… what are you still doing here?. I say, Hello… help… they say my luggage has explosives in it… he quickens his steps and moves further away from me. A lot of good HE is. Well I finally make it to my gate and the plane is just about finished boarding… Whew I make it. Quick phone call from Brookstone… problem with shipment and away we go. Lucky me, I get to sit between a man who is all up in my face space snoring and a man that cannot speak any English. Drink time… Well, isn’t that nice… my good suit soaking wet with coke. Yippie. We land in Chicago – thank God… but no food since 5am that morning. I am soo hungry. Well, I will step outside for a smoke and then head back in for a bite to eat before my next flight. Oh noooooooooooooooo…. Low blood sugar attack… I get the sweats and my suit is not only wet with coke but sweat now too.Panic… the line to recheck ID’s is not moving… noone is there – I am about to faint… I need fooooooooooooood…..Ok, relax… the line is moving some… 20 min later…my turn. Put my luggage thru… Oh no…. not again…”I am sorry we have to check your luggage” Well about this time I freak on the security people. I tell them I am about to faint and to give me my f’n luggage. Course they don’t and sit me down in a chair and get me some sugar packets. Finally I get to leave. I head over to get something to eat, but I cannot find my cell phone. Shit.. I bet security has it. I head back over to security and tell them they have my cell phone. They look all over but cannot find it. Well the ring on it is a meow only security does not know that. I ask them to call the number but they won’t because it is long distance. All of a sudden I hear a meow, meow. I said to them, do you hear that? That is my phone it is ringing. They politely say to me, “Ahh.. miss, that is a cat getting ready to go thru security”. I look up and sure enough there is the cat. Oh boy well where is my phone. Searching searching more… low and behold I find it… in my pocketbook. Eeeks. Silly me.Now it is time to head to my gate. As I am leisurely walking and eating my pizza and talking to my husband on the phone, I look up at the clock on the way up the escalator… ahhhh…. Honey… what time does my flight leave? 4:00 he says. Ummm… what time is it here? Ummm… 3:55 he says. SHIT! Now back into panic mode… Running and Running to my gate. Not thinking I am going to make it. I get to the gate yelling across the seating area.. “helloooooo” I need to get on this flight.” The gate people are just looking at me. Again I yell…”hellooooooooooooooooooooo, I need some help. I have to get on this flight.” Well… lucky me – they open the doors and walk me down. YAH!!!!!! Back to the back of the plane…and I get to sit next to some chick that is drunk off her ass. She says to me, “What the hell took you so long. We have been waiting for you.” Then proceeded to fall asleep and kick me with her feet the entire flight from Chicago to Providence – even the flight attendant tried to wake the woman then realize she was drunk. Then when we land, now remember we are at the BACK of the plane, the VERY back… she says to me to move she has to get out first. I told her she was not going anywhere and to just sit down. (course in a nice way) When the plane begins to deplane, I make my way to the front and this chick starts in on my tell me to move it – Well after ALL I had been thru, I turned around and said to her , “WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP” The captain looked at me and smiled and off I went. Finally to arrive in Marion, MA at about 2AM.

The one I tell people about most is the flight to London for a semester abroad, on that flight I ate what was to be the last meat I have eaten in 12 years. I should have gone out better than with airplane chicken. Should have been popcorn chicken or something that looks yummy like that...

My worst was when Paul and I were coming back from Europe. After three weeks away, we were feeling homesick and couldn't wait to get back. Of course, that is when everything went wrong. We were flying out of Paris and were ready to board the plane when some guy apparently got through security, or something. So, we all had to wait in the terminal for hours until they figured it out. Unlike our airports here in the US (we are so spoiled!!!) there wasn't anything to do because their terminals are separated from the shops and restaurants. But, we kept out spirits up and had a nice, long, conversation with an older copuple from S.F. When we got on the plan, the flight to Philadelphia (our connecting) was pretty good. Just a bit of turbulence. So, that didn't really qualify as a bad flight...yet! When we landed in Philly, we were three hours late and missed our connecting. They said it would be fine and we would be put on the next plane out. But, when we got to that gate, they said that we couldn't get a seat. After some persistence, we were able to get on the flight. Except, once we were on the plane, we had to sit on the runway for a few hours because of wetaher and runway congestion. I was so antsy at this pont. And, they woudn't even let us get up and move around. We were just trapped on teh flight for three horus with nothing to do. The whole time I kept thinking, "I'm never going to get home!" When we finally arrived home to Ontario and I saw my in-laws, I gave them the biggest hug. And, when we got to our apartment, I actually gave the door a big hug. After all the stuff with people being stuck on airplanes and in terminals recently, I can certainly relate. And, I can also recognize that in comparison, my experience wasn't horrible. But, it was still pretty bad.

I was bumped from a flight from Madrid to NY a few years ago. I got another night in Spain, free hotel and food, AND a first-class ticketfor going home a day later. First class was amazing! Champagne as soon as we sat down, good food, fresh baked cookies, a constant flow of booze, and my own little TV with a lot of movies to choose from. It was heavenly, and ruined coach for me forever.

What's your favorite board game? Do you usually win?

Joanne's FAVORITE answer:
RISK!!! - bit I almost never win. I talk too much shit at the beginning of the game and no one trusts my alliances by the end. Plus the game takes like three hours, just enough time for me to be too drunk by the end to have a chance at winning...

Joanne's answer:
Man, its been forever since I've played a boardgame, so kind of hard for me to answer this question! I guess I'm gonna have to go with the old standby of "Monopoly" - I used to play that game with my sister literally every day in the summer - and I seriously don't think I won, even once! See...its good that I didn't follow my father's advice and became an academic instead of a businesswoman. =)

And the other answers!

Monopoly would be mine.

I used to play the game SORRY. I haven't played that in awhile, but I used to always win. I think that is mainly because my dad always let me win. He is just cool that way.

Balderdash. Except we don't play to win, we play to see who can give the raunchiest and most inane answers. So by that measure, yes I usually win.

Scatagories. Its just fun. I don't care who wins anymore ( I used to have a problem with this).

Parcheesi – and yes I usually do.

Probably Monopoly, although I never win. These days, however, I'm more likely to be found playing Candy Land.

I like monopoly. My performance varies, but every once in awhile I kick serious ass!

This is a good one "Sesame Street Match Game".... Did I win?, NO [my son] always did...Sorry, we don't play board games. But I do remember that...

What goals have you recently set for yourself, and how are you doing on them so far?

Joanne's favorite answer:
To be and remain unemployed until I can no longer afford rent and I'm reduced to wandering the streets--unshowered, talking to myself, and asking for spare change and hits of pot from strangers. ...So far, I'm right on track!

Joanne's answer:
I don't know that I've set explicitly set too many goals for myself lately, especially after having just obtained huge goal of the dream job and all....but I have been really thinking that its about time to have a real boyfriend after not having had one for like 7 years...I don't know if you can really consider it a "goal" - but I do have a date this week so perhaps that is progress!! (Of course, if history is any predictor of the future, "progress" may not quite be the right word, but oh well!)

And the other answers!

Lose weight. Not so good lately, but I'm still down a couple pounds from the beginning of the year.

My most recent goal is to finish setting up my attic. It continues to take a great deal of organization to store everything I have to store. Then I have to unpack, and repack every single box so the mice can't get in them and make a home for the winter. How am I doing? Pretty well, I do believe. But I only have a few more days to work at it before I am to be operated on and then I have to sit still for 4 to 6 weeks before a can get back to it.

The goals that I did set (windows etc.) never came about. I will now leave them for Fall cleaning.

My goals right now are getting through nursing school and getting on with my life. So far, things are going very well. School starts again in a couple weeks, which is hard to believe, but that is the only way to keep moving forward. Like they say, time waits for no one. That, and I am very much looking forward to my new career, so I really do want things to keep moving along so I can get there.

Well, just this morning I thought that I should set the goal of beingout of debt by age 30. That seemed sufficiently far away. Maybe a minute later, it hit me that I'll be 30 in about six months. Crap! The goal was amended...out of debt by 31. MAYBE 32. (I'm so screwed.)

Goals? I've got one big one - get a job! So far, who knows? Still waiting to hear back on a bunch of stuff. I think that the summer is kind of a hard time.

To LEAVE the company I work for…mmmmm… not so hot.

What do you do if you can't sleep at night? Do you count sheep, toss and turn, or get up and try to do something productive?

Joanne's FAVORITE answer:
Masterbati..... err... exercise! it always helps me sleep!

Joanne's answer:
I'm afraid I can't take the advice of my favorite answer, because this is most definitely already done before even attempting to go to sleep! This, of course, means that I very rarely have trouble falling asleep...but in the event that I do, I will mostly just toss and turn, keep my eyes closed, and "pretend" to be sleeping in the hopes that I will trick myself into the real thing! If I am really desperate/it is really taking a long time, I'll give up and move to the livingroom (sometimes turn on the TV), at which point I do usually fall asleep. I'd also usually like to call someone, but its usually too late...unless I'm on the east coast, in which case I have 3 hours to call people in CA (which I did quite a bit when I was interviewing and couldn't sleep!).

And the other answers!

If I have trouble falling asleep I pray. I say the prayers I know in my head, over and over and then if all else fails, I talk to God, my mother, my sister, sometimes my Dad and my grandmother.

Actually MOST night I cannot sleep. I have been known to do all the things you mentioned and then some. Like EAT! I mostly read with hopes that it will make me tired and sleepy. But before I leave the bed I count sheep, or count backwards! Maybe what I should have is SEX!

I just tell her to turn over and then she stops snoring.

If I have probs sleeping I toss and turn for awhile, then maybe play online or watch TV. Or reading, too, puts me to sleep.

I would bet that masturbate is a lot of people's honest answer, although whether they'll cop to it in your QOTD I don't know. Does that count as productive?

I, unfortunately, toss and turn. I will not give up the fight, nor let insomnia win. I will stay in bed until I fall asleep. Many hours have been lost on this futile effort. I should have gotten up and done something all those times, but it was the principle of the matter.

I take a couple of Tylenol PM, make a stiff drink, and turn on the TV right after I check my emails.

i know exactly what i do when i cant sleep,seeing as how i havent slept well in the past 4 nights..i toss and turn,or just lie there for about an a half hour then if im still up, i'll get up and watch t.v. or read my book...something quiet (as hard as that is for me to do!!!!!) then if all else fails...masturbation. hahaha..works like a charm.

I freakin HATE it when I can't sleep at night. Usually I'll lay there for at least an hour. Then I'll get up and start watching TV. Then I'll start wondering if there are other people who are up too and wish that I could talk to them. If I don't fall asleep during this time,I'll eat something really heavy (like turkey) and that usually puts meto sleep.

Pull the pud while thinking of you.

Can't sleep at night...? What does THAT mean??

I do have "sleepless" nights often. I do get up and pick up a book I am reading or do a crossword puzzle. It takes about one half hour to get me ready to go back to bed.

I'll start by tossing and turning...with my eye on the clock the whole time saying, "If I fall asleep now, I'll get 4 hours of sleep...if I fall asleep now, I'll get three hours...etc." Obviously, that is never really helpful and it just keeps me up longer. So, I'll usually go lay on the couch and watch TV in the living room. If school worries is what is keeping me up, I'll write down a game plan for myself. That usually calms me a bit.

Mostly I just lay there and try not to toss and turn too much and wake the husband. I almost never leave the bed if I can't sleep. I don't want to be productive, I want to sleep!

If I can't sleep I usually do the least helpful thing - either toss and turn or take the opportunity to think about things that are troubling me (but, usually, only the one's about which I can do absolutely nothing)!

How do you handle anger?

Joanne's FAVORITE answer:
Apparently, when I get angry I kick holes in my wall. If anyone knows how to patch up a one-foot square hole, let me know!

Joanne's answer:
I don't think I get angry all that much, I mean I think I'm a pretty low-key, tolerant person...though I do often expect a lot of people and I can sometimes get mad when my expectations are not met...plus, of course, if someone gets mad at me and I don't think its justified, I'll be mad at them for getting mad at me. How do I handle it? Hmmmmm...a popular response is it to get really quiet/silent and/or avoid the person all together, almost like I am punishing them by taking away my attention. And I have sometimes been known to say bitchy things in the heat of the moment...and will often use passivie-aggressive sarcasm after the fight is over if I still have some lingering anger that is pushing to be expressed. And then there is the standby of writing a super nasty email note...which should probably never be sent but sometimes is! Oh and of course, I will call everyone I know and tell them about how mad am I...and heaven forbid they don't totally take my side 100%!!!

And the other answers!

I handle anger MOSTLY: I think I start as anyone does by NOT seeing the other person's reasoning. Then gradually ( after taking very deep breaths) I realize its better to see all sides of an argument or disagreement and before you know it anger has really gone. Sometimes disappointment sets in but now thats another question, yes?

By not getting mad!

I handle anger in different ways, but mainly I try to take the extra energy to the gym with me. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't. I try not to let it get me too worked up though.

I handle different anger different ways. But if I'm angry at someone, I may stew about it for a while but sooner or later, I go to them and tell them I'm angry and what I'm angry about. Now, if the person doesn't acknowledge my anger as a real thing and takes steps to apologize for making me angry, then I'm just going to get more angry and then I just shut down. I sizzle inside until it goes away. And then whatever relationship I had for that person is diminished a little by the sizzle that took place inside me. The relationship is forever scared and will have difficulty growing. Not that it's can't grow, it will just have difficulty. Now, if the person I'm mad at does apologize for making me angry, then it might take a while, depending on the intensity of the anger, but eventually, it goes away and life can continue the way it was and my relationship with the person can continue to grow. Life goes on. For many other things I'm angry at, I pray for serenity for the things I can not change and I pray for patience to get me through whatever it is that is making me angry. I leave a lot of that in God's hands.

My funny answer- I try to keep my distance from her!! But seriously, I turn into a total jack ass a complete fouled mouthed, Veins bulging out of my face moron. After 40 years of life I have finally realized what a waste of energy that is. The last time I was angry I took all the energy and cleaned my kitchen till 2 am. I woke up the next day and instead of broken hand I had a clean kitchen and a great feeling about taking negative energy and turning it into a positive. If only I had learned this in my younger years life would have been easier and cleaner!!

if its someone elses anger..depending on who it is,ieither laugh(quietly),or i try to calm them down andtalk it out.if its my own anger i usually try to calmmyself a bit before i talk about it...learning fromthe past i tend to say "very bitchy things" if i donthave a chance to relax first.

By getting mad and kicking ass.

Not well. I usually try to swallow it, but that rarely works. So I endup saying something mean and giving the cold shoulder -- and all toooften I do this to someone other than the one who pissed me off in thefirst place. Yeah, me and anger are not good friends.

Like an adult. I get pissed off right back.

Call me an idealist, but i still abide by the bundle-it-up-inside-and-ignore-it technique.

I generally dismiss it, as it is normally counter productive. I dismiss it by focusing on what is important to me: God and family, all else has little effect on my well being.

Tell me about the person who has most influenced your life.

Joanne's favorite answer:
I can't narrow it down to one person - the persons that have had the biggest influence in my life would be my wife and two stepdaughters. My wife has been a consistently positive influence in my life. Each of my stepdaughters worked extremely hard in and out of college to earn degrees in their respected fields. I was able to watch them make their dreams a reality and that has been a major influence in my life. And the best part is all three are still a continuing influence in my life.

Joanne's answer:
Wow, this is a hard one! Glossing over the most obvious answer of my immediate family (who any psychologist would argue has an extraordinary influence on all of us!), I'm going to have to go with my friend Jen. Before I met Jen, I was often worried that new people did not like me, I would never have have been able to go up to a guy in a bar and just start talking to him, and I was living a best-friend-less existance at college. After meeting her, I became much more confident, started picking up boys left and right, and got the best friend any college girl could ask for. Even more than that, without her, I would never have moved in California, possibly may not even have gone to grad school, and most certainly wouldn't, today, be going to the first day of my dream job as a professor who lives near the beach!


And the other answers!

My grandma has influenced me the most. She's the kindest, most lovingperson and she really listens to me. She's my mom, my dad, and mygrandma. My life would have amounted to nothing without her. Seriously.

I'd say it's a toss-up between Maude and Rhoda. As a kid I watched a LOT of TV and those two TV icons really shaped my idea of an independent strong woman. Maude's downfall, of course, were those weird flowy MUMU's. But she knew how to strut and be sarcastic. Rhoda's? I'm not sure. Her mom was kind of a pain in the ass. Plus, she was a seamstress. As a kid, that's not so impressive because it's just sewing (it is now, of course). But then she had great fashion sense and she was funny and she knew how to take care of business and she divorced stupid Joe (even though he was HOT). Thank god for the 70s - the golden age of entertainment in America.

There you go again - most - that limits me to one. My life, and who I am and what I'm about is far too complicated to limit to one person. I was greatly influenced by my mother, although I didn't realize it until I was an adult. She taught me organization and that one side of the coin was freedom but the other side of that coin was responsibility. The bigger the coin, the more freedom you had but the more responsibility you had to accept as well. I was influenced by the lady who came to clean our house who turned out to be my mother's best friend. There was a woman who taught me that you didn't have to be intellectual to be brave and enjoy life to the fullest, you just needed to give love and accept love in return. She taught me that when someone pays you a compliment, even if you don't agree with it, you just say "thank you" and accept it. I continue to be influenced by Jesus and all He stands for. I'm influenced still by the many different kinds of music I listen to. I can't say that one person influenced my life more than someone else. I'm a real individual, a singular human being who has always marched and danced to my own drummer and music.